I want to be……

the poet of mediocrity
for the mediocre age
using mediocre language
to vent my mediocre rage

I’ll plagiarise and sanitise
anything good that comes to hand
I’ll be
a bootleg Byron
a paper thin Plath
a Heaney hologram

I’ll take endless selfies
highlighting my golden pen
I’ll sit crane-like
but just right
to hide my paunch
and then….

I’ll declare war

in mediocrity
an expert I will be
sit on sofas
strictly dance in loafers
ice-skate with gophers
a rhyming book
open on my knee

from the east to the west
I’ll be on all the shows
divide opinion
boost the ratings
punching Piers on the nose

whilst in a hand cart
the world goes to hell
fanned by
climate change
brexit bitterness
all my complicity
as well

copyright ashyvicar 2019

the Bat and Ball

this was heaven
the Bat and Ball
long after last orders

lights dimmed
curtains closed
drinks lining the table

tiger bitter
double glenfiddich
henri winterman cigars

talking
the death of god
whisky flowed

no thought police
no biblical literalists
just sally maclennane

so we muse
linda’s limitless intellect
the merits of moondancing

theological themes
replenishing our glasses
the beauty of fermented grain

this was heaven
the bat and ball
no fall from grace with god

copyright a shyvicar 2018

Charles Tomlinson

Mike
all good wishes
words
written on water

Obituary
with candid regrets
rippled
I didn’t know

Blue
leaden white lettering
shelfed
hard to find

Guilt
at words unread
overlooked
streams uncharted

Shipped
a reluctant letter
feared
affirmative response

Tepid
questions by rote
trickling
off the floor

Listened
swimming different strokes
wanting
Seamus Heaney

Broken
on youthful pomposity
shipwrecked
by jaundiced stares

Words
written on water
evoke
these former façades

 

copyright a shyvicar 2018

 

The Church of England Today

leadership
new messiahs
bandwagon

church
scandals
dwindling disciples

take course
down pills
super- vicar every four hours

convince you
divine dictatorship
the way

get power
get glory
put conscience away

proscribed dose
hook-line
sinker

leadership leadership
only way
church of england today

leadership leadership
peter ball
church of england today

copyright a shyvicar

(first draft whilst listening to “The Teardrop Explodes”)

election 2017

purile debate
gagging for air
left right
talk about a
britain no longer there

this isn’t the 1950’s
empire has long gone
this isn’t the 1970’s
‘jimmy savile’
words that  say it all

prim proper may
bearded corbyn
had their day
get the feather dusters
brush cobwebs away

a dead press
rages against dying light
desperate for sensation
disaster
to halt the night

vine and maitliss
roll naked on the floor
flash of manly chest
a nip slip
will viewers watch once more?

internet full
naked images of them
fake as debates
in the 2017
election

copyright a shyvicar

updated whilst listening to “The Icicle Works”.

 

Joie de Vivre

your joie de vivre
annoys me
so fake
in that usual way
that comes with the territory
called mission

I’m not really sure
that I am one
for abundant living
whatever that is

I need a bit of mystery
to be plagued by doubts
to catch a glimpse
of something far too wonderful
to be boxed in a god slot

music fans enjoying the moment
christine slip sliding across the floor
a well turned phrase
a malt lightly touching my lips

I don’t want to look at the world
with blinkers on
to see my fellow humans
as hopelessly lost
in need of being saved

life is too screwed up
for such easy answers
to be read straight off the page

copyright: ashyvicar

Steelworks

there’s a tescos now
where the steelworks stood
all glass and girders
clad in wood
cathedral of commercial revolution

and as much as we mythologise
what went on before
so we look down
at the priests
upon this temple floor
serving the commercial revolution

she smiles
is polite
what else can I say
like some desperate paparazzo
I sought her out today
chose her for her looks
as she merrily beeps away

and the sacred words?
– you’ve saved £1.40
– are you collecting vouchers for pans
-how many bags have you used
-have you had your clubcard scanned
at the service of commercial revolution

is it because they’re mostly women
that I dehumanize her so?
the bishops at the steelworks
were hardly saints
its well known…..
and conditions for their priests?
well leave that one alone
because we despise
the commercial revolution

there’s a tescos now
where the steelworks stood
all glass and girders
clad in wood
cathedral of commercial revolution