This is
fake poetry
for the facebook age
programmed by white males
voiced by amazon echoes
a turn of phrase
a dirty look
a semi-colon
tried and tested by focus group
copyright: ashyvicar2018
This is
fake poetry
for the facebook age
programmed by white males
voiced by amazon echoes
a turn of phrase
a dirty look
a semi-colon
tried and tested by focus group
copyright: ashyvicar2018
incremental to my college days
alternative to the copperfield boys
motorbike helmets
drunken fists
you offered another way to live
i wasn’t for fighting
standing tough
smirking over mammary glands
around the streets of Cheltenham
where I studied religion and lived.
i saw you
“The Smiths” at the Apollo
bought a ticket
caught the bus
sat next to siouxsie’s aspiring twin
never spoke
made no fuss
contradicting my christian tutor
shyness was nice
it was no sin
something to celebrate
extroversion should not always win
made me miserable?
my heart skipped as you sang your lines
helped me challenge stereotypes
changing perspectives on life.
copyright a “ashyvicar”.
leadership
new messiahs
bandwagon
church
scandals
dwindling disciples
take course
down pills
super- vicar every four hours
convince you
divine dictatorship
the way
get power
get glory
put conscience away
proscribed dose
hook-line
sinker
leadership leadership
only way
church of england today
leadership leadership
peter ball
church of england today
copyright a shyvicar
(first draft whilst listening to “The Teardrop Explodes”)
purile debate
gagging for air
left right
talk about a
britain no longer there
this isn’t the 1950’s
empire has long gone
this isn’t the 1970’s
‘jimmy savile’
words that say it all
prim proper may
bearded corbyn
had their day
get the feather dusters
brush cobwebs away
a dead press
rages against dying light
desperate for sensation
disaster
to halt the night
vine and maitliss
roll naked on the floor
flash of manly chest
a nip slip
will viewers watch once more?
internet full
naked images of them
fake as debates
in the 2017
election
copyright a shyvicar
updated whilst listening to “The Icicle Works”.
synchronised angularity
fretboard agility
outsider insularity
st. vincent
digital mastery
guitar playing artistry
blowing my mind away
st. vincent
writing miraculously
casual cruelty
exposed meticulously
st. vincent
preposterous creativity
what a saint should be
no living piously
st. vincent
your joie de vivre
annoys me
so fake
in that usual way
that comes with the territory
called mission
I’m not really sure
that I am one
for abundant living
whatever that is
I need a bit of mystery
to be plagued by doubts
to catch a glimpse
of something far too wonderful
to be boxed in a god slot
music fans enjoying the moment
christine slip sliding across the floor
a well turned phrase
a malt lightly touching my lips
I don’t want to look at the world
with blinkers on
to see my fellow humans
as hopelessly lost
in need of being saved
life is too screwed up
for such easy answers
to be read straight off the page
copyright: ashyvicar
there’s a tescos now
where the steelworks stood
all glass and girders
clad in wood
cathedral of commercial revolution
and as much as we mythologise
what went on before
so we look down
at the priests
upon this temple floor
serving the commercial revolution
she smiles
is polite
what else can I say
like some desperate paparazzo
I sought her out today
chose her for her looks
as she merrily beeps away
and the sacred words?
– you’ve saved £1.40
– are you collecting vouchers for pans
-how many bags have you used
-have you had your clubcard scanned
at the service of commercial revolution
is it because they’re mostly women
that I dehumanize her so?
the bishops at the steelworks
were hardly saints
its well known…..
and conditions for their priests?
well leave that one alone
because we despise
the commercial revolution
there’s a tescos now
where the steelworks stood
all glass and girders
clad in wood
cathedral of commercial revolution
what would you do?
I say
shadows
carry my voice away
upwards
and out
across the solway
she has come to a stop
all around the shadows fly
outstretched arms
anticipating outstretched wings
I’d freak out
her reply
as delicately missing
the shadows
darken a post sunset sky
better than any human pilot
these nocturnal aviators fly
so close
and yet
though darkness surrounds
it is all light to them
It’s time to go
I say anxious
just in case
one of these shadows should land
but I am thinking
of what humans do
these are bats
Copyright: a shy vicar
a whisp of a lisp
or flight of poetic fancy
as I stand
debit card in hand
waiting in the queue
a fringe
of disparate lengths
a fed-up face
but best of all
a plait
coiled on her shoulder
a protector
ready to attack
wrap itself constrictor-like
around every rude customer
sqeezing the very swear words out of them
she looks disinterested
I take my turn
a long day perhaps
the tired tedium of the evening shift
in the 24 hour store
that never shuts its doors
– do you need help with your packing –
my few paltry items
seeming
too much for me to bear
useless man
– no thank you –
I say
it’s polite convention suggesting
I hope
humanity
in that brief exchange
in those pre-destined words
I sense warmth
a feint lisp of whisper
or flight of poetic fancy
as I wonder
what snogging her would be like
under the stars
hand in hand
on the sand
of Scarborough’s South Bay
are you the one that I’ve been waiting for?
I know I will never see Jess again
a chance encounter
a brief encounter
without smoke
guard’s whistle
steam train
an eyeful of grit
I am not Trevor Howard
She is not Celia Johnson
I am mid-life crisis
she is still young
with a life full of other men to meet
I am left
I walk away
a self- packed bag
thoughts of other brief encounters
randomness in life
God filled human beings
I will never snog
or hold hands with
by Scarborough’s star-lit sea.
Copyright – a shy vicar
I want to dance like Sam and Dave
whipping up a frenzy
lighting up a spark
feat of dynamite.
I want to hold on
to both moment and emotion
sense the coming
ecstasy of crowd excited
body shaking
purposefully
with abandon.
I want to perspire for my pay
steam up the place
with my pale soul face
have them know
really know
truly comprehend
that all power is in my hands
and everything’s humming
I have been watching for days now baby
every bead of sweat
foot movement
shirt collared
suit and booted
you tube moment
that weaving and streaming
black and white
exuding colour
and the time has come to wrap it up
I want to dance like Sam and Dave
make my cold nights hot
lurch my frame around the floor
make them want to glide some more
ain’t no better way to
grab the rope